Today’s a pretty stinking hilarious day at work.  An email string I just got:

A writes: 

This here delightful item might make a great holiday gift for or from you creative types: http://www.puttyworld.com/index.html

D writes: 

I looked at the website. Looks like you can fashion clothes out of it — like belts and stuff. Picture it: Mood underwear!!!!  J, I think we should invest in this one. We could make A KILLING with MoodPutty Undies!

J writes:

Agreed.  Two men pass a woman on the street.  One says, “That woman is HOT for me.”  The other asks, “How can you tell?”  The first one says, “Because her panties turned bright red when she looked at me!”

D writes back:

The second man responds: “Dude, you’d better check your color key. I think that’s the woman you stood up last week for drinks.”

J replies:

First one’s reply:  “Come to think of it, the bright red was in back…”

D responds:

The woman, still silently fuming about being stood up, thinks to herself, “What was WRONG with that other guy’s socks?”

A conversation my coworker and I had today:

DD: in the 40s today
DD: kinda nice actually
DD: ahhhhhh
me: uggghhh
me: I’d much rather it be warmer.
DD: most folks would
DD: JR and i will have to run away together to an ice floe somewhere
DD: hang out with the polar bears…
me: I’ll send you postcards from hawaii
DD: we’ll send you photos of the snow angels we make.
me: I never understood what would possess grown people to lay down in the snow and wiggle.
me: first of all, the angels look like they’re wearing culottes.  those went out of style AGES ago.
me: secondly, it’s wet.
me: thirdly, it’s cold.
me: fourthly, the person on the ground is lying in a prone position - just ripe for assault or theft.
DD: mugged by a gang of penguins…
DD: really, i don’t think that there are many assaults and thefts on ice floes.
me: well, I suppose we could leave out point #4 in that case.
DD: and coulottes come and go
DD: i’m all about wearing what i like
DD: my snow angels have similar feelings about fashion
me: culottes should stay gone.
me: seriously - when I was a kid and did the snow angel thing (like, once), I actually scooped out the leg line.
DD: how funny!
me: had to fix it.
DD: and they didn’t medicate you then?
DD: ;-)
me: anyway, because you’re squirming so much, the head always ends up shaped funny.
DD: i tend not to do a whole lot of flailing
me: isn’t that the point?
DD: it’s not really a whole-body experience
me: yes, it is a whole-body experience - your whole body gets wet and numb from the snow!
DD: i mean, you only have to move your arms and legs
me: yeah, but try moving your ring finger without moving the others - things are connected!
DD: my head’s not connected to my legs
DD: or my arms
me: but it’s connected to your neckbone, which is connected to your…
me: didn’t you go to preschool?
me: didn’t you TEACH preschool?
DD: yes, but the fine points of flailing were never covered in my curriculum