I’ve not blogged for a number of reasons, and won’t be doing much more than posting pictures for a while.  But, hey - at least I’ll be posting again.  =)

I wanted to post about our vacation, so I’ll write a few lines and then get with the picture posting.

It’s been a rough couple of months.  Fast-paced, full of big, personal decisions and stressors.  Things have been building for a long time - no breaks from the everyday worries can build, and when you start dealing with bigger things, stress and exhaustion can overwhelm you.  It was perfect timing for a vacation.

We went to Myrtle Beach, as we have done every summer for the past few years.  This is always a wonderful trip - not only do we get to be right on the beach for a week, we also get to reunite with good friends and with my family.  Bill and Georgiana are two of the most generous and loving people we know - they open their home to 6 noisy and messy invaders every summer.  Now that Melissa’s overseas and we’re out here in Indiana, my immediate family is rarely completely together.  This is one of the few times a year that all (or most) of us can be found in one location, and it’s a much-needed reconnection.

For the first time in years, I completely relaxed.

David will laugh - being with my family can be anything BUT restful because we’re a lively, merry, and flat-out loud bunch.  But there’s always been a strong current of satisfaction with one another, of joy, that flows through every interaction we have.  Even the spatting.  =)  And then there was the calming influence and peaceful energy of good friends - Bill and Georgiana - to round out the atmosphere.

I didn’t work at all - on every other “vacation” I’ve taken in the past 3 years, I’ve had to bring work as a condition for getting the time off.  Now that I’m in a new environment, I was able to actually disengage from the work for a week.

I left behind the weight of recent weeks.  Heaviness, even while mostly balanced by peace (a true gift of God), has been my constant companion for two months now.  While I was gone, I just… rested.  And I was able to talk to my family about some of the things that have been weighing on me - having that support is already making a difference.

I came back to my life rested, more optimistic, and ready to face facts and challenges.  But in this world, there’s always sadness waiting to temper joy.  Friends are losing their jobs while I’m thanking God for my own.  People who work very hard and manage money carefully can’t make ends meet, and can’t get help from the state or the government - while people who wallow in their own laziness and selfishness make choices that harm their own families - and get paid to do it.

It’s hard to maintain cheer and optimism when so many are battered so roughly by life… I am grateful to have a well to draw from when I’ve reached the end of my strength.  How can people survive without a faith in something beyond circumstance and surroundings?

Last night, we had some good friends over (11 total?) to watch Jesus Christ Superstar with us.  Our pastor talked a little about it before we actually got around to turning it on.  There were a few kinds of people there - one kind had never seen the movie, so it needed a little introduction, and another kind had seen it many times and was likely to be silly throughout.  The pastor saying something at the beginning put everyone into a somber enough mood that we could watch the movie and think about its subject rather than its execution.  (No pun intended.)

Dave’s Dad, David tells me, has listened to the record/CD every year on Good Friday for as long as he can remember.  I like the idea - we might watch this DVD every Good Friday.  It was a good way to spend the night.

We went to church this morning.  My parents’ church recently split when their pastor left, so the remaining members are in the middle of a pastor search.  The interim pastor gave the sermon today and at the end gave an invitation.

It really, really bothers me when preachers ask to have “every head bowed and every eye closed” when they give an invitation.  There was nothing private about what Christ did for us.  If you’re making a statement of belief in Jesus, it should be bold and unapologetic.  Christianity, true Christianity, will change your life dramatically - it’s not a lifestyle to step into half-heartedly, it’s a worldview change, a paradigm shift.  I think it’s inappropriate for a pastor to minimize the gravity of the decision to follow Christ by allowing people to slink into the relationship.  I think it undermines the importance of the commitment and makes the relationship seem like it doesn’t have to be THE priority of your life.

That said,  I think the “close your eyes” approach can be appropriate in youth ministry because kids are so wrapped up in what their friends and peers think of them, but adults should be able to make decisions - especially such important decisions - without basing them in vanity.  If you’re not ready to stand up and stand out for Christ, are you ready to commit to a life in him and for him?

I sound judgemental, and this is something I struggle with - snap decisions about things I hear and see, and the people that say and do them.  I need to think more, but I wanted to post my initial thoughts here so I could hear what some of you think.

So, what do you think?

I have a job! More accurately, I have a contract position until the end of the year… but it pays so well that I’ll be making a year’s salary in that time. =) Completely out of the blue, I got a call (Thursday night) from a company I’d previously interviewed with - something of an emergency nature had come up and they needed another “resource.” My interviewer had kept my information handy and pulled it out right away… He wanted to meet with me as soon as possible, so (because I was headed out on vacation) we had to meet at 8am on Friday morning. I went in thinking I’d get another interview - I came out with a job and security clearance. =) God’s awesome!

I’ll be working for Clarian Health (a network of hospitals in Indianapolis) with a contracting company, Sedona Learning Solutions, to develop manuals and training material for software used by physicians. Don’t quite know yet what that means, but I’m excited. I find myself doubting my ability to do the job already - before I even know what I’ll be doing! But that’s just my nature. My overwhelming emotion is thankfulness.

So, thanks to you guys for praying for me!

Read this.

Last night, I went to our monthly deacons’ meeting at church. Usually, the meetings last 3 hours and are so filled with issues and details that they’re exhausting. That’s not a complaint, though. It’s an honor and a privilege to serve my church by being a part of the board.

Last night’s meeting was… refreshing. Instead of the normal scheduling and building details and general concerns, we spent a lot of time dealing with a particular issue. Here’s the situation:

We’re an inner city church. Inner city churches struggle, most often openly, against drug addiction and substance abuse. A group of members of our church are engaging in drug and substance abuse. Despite repeated attempts to have them even acknowledge the sin involved, this group continues in their behavior, even defending it as something good.

One of this group is of particular concern - this person is gifted by God with an amazing natural ability to lead people, and regardless of this person’s intent (or even desire), people are following. This person’s defiance and justification are being adopted and echoed by every one in that group, and families already broken are being severely affected.

I imagine that some churches would turn the other way - especially when a confrontation gone wrong could end in a large group of members leaving the church and families of children being abandoned to the neglect of using parents… Maybe others would follow the Matthew 18 guidelines to the letter (one-on-one, group-on-one, church-on-one, then removal from church) and say they did their duty.

At the deacons’ meeting, we of course talked about the biblical models and about what will be our church’s approach to these people. There will be no condoning of sin (a little yeast)… But that said, it was amazing to see the love that the deacons have for this member and this group that follows… and how evident our desire for their complete restoration.

It amazes me how fervent prayer about something so potentially deathly to the momentum of the growth of our church, something that could spark cynicism in all of us, unites us and gives us hope.

We know that the draw and the hold of sin is so strong… but the power of God is so much greater. =)

do you remember the road runner cartoon? wile e. coyote would be running after the road runner, doing the thing he did… then, all of a sudden, he would look down and there was no road. he’d look behind him, and there’s the road runner staring back at him from the edge of a cliff.

I don’t feel like I’m off the edge of a cliff or anything, but last night, after a long GOOD talk with my roommate, I realized very suddenly some things that are really bothering me. deep down bothering - causing stress enough that I’ve been pulling away from relationships with Bethany and with my church. it was jarring… I’ve been thinking that I’m fine. now I think I have a lot to think about.

Dave says “it can be an emotional experience, but it can also be an intellectual experience where you connect with God and express praise and adoration. it’s anything that lets God know how much you value him (and why).”

thoughts?

sermon #2: “great expectations” (John 9)

it was good! of course it was - he never does anything halfway or in mediocrity. =) I was proud of him - the next time he preaches, you all have to come see him.

I’d summarize, but I’d do it very poorly - he said a lot of neat stuff in there.

and… imprecatory preaching. =) not by my David, but by the pastor of the church during communion. it was intense for those of us who knew what was going on. there exists a situation that’s not widely known about, save to the deacons and the pastor, that was addressed in a very blunt manner during the service. without naming names or giving the situation away, the pastor made it very clear that if the people involved were not willing to talk about it in person in private, that he’d confront them from the pulpit. it was done very well - only those of us who knew what was going on had any idea of anything out of the ordinary (except that the pastor was a little fired up), but the people to whom it was directed CAN’T have missed its significance. it was neat to see that side of a pastor’s duties - what *do* you do with congregants who defy Biblical teaching but won’t discuss it?

made it home. spent about an hour on the runway, an hour and a half in the air, and an hour and a half in the van to get here, but i made it. it’s amazing that for my parents to drive to the airport in Baltimore, it takes as long as it takes for me to fly from Indiana. that is, it would be that way if the plane didn’t have “computer problems” and if we didn’t have to de-ice the wings.

it’s good to be home. I’m so thankful that I have such a great family. they may be overwhelming to some, but they are my favorite people in the world. there’s just something about being home with my family that fills the cracks - the things I’m missing. those missing bits are vague - I don’t have specific names for them. some of them resemble things like unconditional love, affirmation no matter what… there isn’t a soul in the world who loves me more than my mother does. =) and I would rather sit at my father’s feet as he plays the guitar than be anywhere else in the world. and good or bad, who knows me better than my sisters?

I was thinking tonight during the Christmas Eve church service instead of listening to the “meditation” - I know, I know… if I was taking Christmas seriously, I would be listening intently to the preacher… blah blah blah. I know what Christmas is about - and in my life, it’s been reflected in my family. selfless love? my parents sacrificed so many things to make my life as amazing as it’s been. Christ coming to earth? my family has shown me so clearly what it means to live for Christ, to strive to be Christlike, to appreciate the gift of salvation. so I thought about my family while the preacher was preaching something about peace.

I’m so grateful! that’s what Christmas is to me. being thankful. and being expectant. I’ve been given so much… and “of those whom much is given, much is required.” Christmas reminds me to be on the lookout, and to be willing to be used.